From the Collection – In The Narcissist’s Shadow
This poem is a slow-burning elegy — a love that began as sanctuary and became suffocation. It’s rich with imagery of devotion turned decay, and it speaks to the emotional erosion that occurs when love is weaponised.
Dark Knight – Dark Nights captures the ache of being emotionally starved in a relationship where the partner is physically present but emotionally absent. The speaker gives, waits, pleads — and receives silence, coldness, and distance in return. This aligns with the narcissistic behaviour of stonewalling: the refusal to engage, respond, or acknowledge emotional needs, often used to punish or control. It also reflects emotional neglect, where the survivor’s pain is invisible, their efforts unreciprocated, and their love unheld.
“Stand by your man,” they said, and so I did,
With a smile, I faced the raging storms.
Losing myself in love’s cruel art,
I adorned his flaws like a crown of thorns.
Through thick and thin, I gave my all,
Till I was worn so thin, I felt so small.
I longed for the wind to carry me away,
Into the dark night where my heart could lay still.
A lily in the thorns, I bloomed with grace,
But the thorns cut deep, I bled unseen.
In bloom to the world, but withered inside,
A broken heart hidden beneath a fragile sheen.
I saw you, my Dark Knight, so strong, so brave,
A shining force against the shadows’ gloom.
You were my knight, but now I see the truth,
You haunt the corners of my broken youth.
Your every glance, a dagger to my soul,
You left me gasping, struggling to be whole.
At first, your shadow seemed my safe retreat,
A shelter from the chaos of the day.
But slowly, warmth became a bitter heat,
And in your grasp, I felt my spirit fray.
I dulled the ache, convinced it was my fight,
Even the rare hug turned hollow in the night.
How fiercely I have fought to bring you close,
To bridge the distance with my desperate care.
Yet every effort met with cold repose,
Weakened me, while you were unaware.
I loved you fiercely, but your heart was sealed,
And in that silence, all my wounds were revealed.
I waited, oh, how long I bled inside,
For warmth to flood the chasms of my mind.
But I, a rose wilting in the dark,
Grew bitter thorns where once was love blind.
I suffered deep beneath the weight of you,
Withering away, while hope was torn in two.
Now my days are filled with sorrow’s plight,
Each night a heavy shroud that dims my sight.
The wind calls out, “Let go of all your fate,”
But I stubbornly cling to memories of light.
I loved my Dark Knight, yet lost my own way,
And in the dark nights, my soul fades to grey.
Narcissistic Trait Reflection
Emotional Neglect and Stonewalling
Definition:
Narcissists often withhold emotional connection as a form of control. They may ignore your needs, dismiss your feelings, or go silent when you reach out. This creates a dynamic where you over-function — giving more, hoping harder — while they retreat further.
Awareness Reminder:
If you feel like you’re always the one reaching, explaining, or apologising — pause. This trait often shows up when they shut down during conflict, refuse to acknowledge your pain, or punish you with silence. You deserve presence, not punishment. Love should not feel like begging.
Poetic Reflection:
You spoke in silence — and I answered with ache.
A rose in your shadow, learning how to break.
Your warmth came cold, your touch withdrew,
Each night I faded while waiting for you.
But silence taught me how to hear my name,
And now I bloom away from blame.
Journal Prompt
What did you need to hear that was never said?
Write it now — not for them, but for the part of you that waited.
*** You may journal in the Comments Section or keep your notes personal, but do take this chance to scribble a tiny bit of your pain away and open a window to healing.
