From the Collection – In The Narcissist’s Shadow
This poem is a visceral map of embodied grief — a lyrical scan of where pain lives when it’s been silenced too long. It’s not just a question; it’s a reckoning. And it pairs powerfully with a trait that often goes unspoken but is deeply felt: Somatic Control/Body-Based Shame.
While not always listed in clinical checklists, this is a common tactic in narcissistic abuse, where the abuser exerts control or criticism over the survivor’s body, appearance, or physical expression. It can manifest as: shaming how you look, eat, dress, or move; dismissing physical pain or illness and using touch as control, not care.
Over time, this leads to disembodiment, where the survivor disconnects from their body, internalises shame, and stores pain in physical form.
Where do you hide your pain?
In weary feet
That tread on paths where crushed hopes must retreat?
Or in your ankles, weighted like a stone,
That pull you under, gasping all alone?
Does sorrow coil around your trembling knees,
Where grief can make you buckle or else freeze?
Or on your shoulders, burdened down with screams—
A shroud of silence stitched from broken dreams?
Does anguish linger in your tender throat,
A strangled cry that never finds a note?
Or in your head, where stormclouds crowd the sky,
Each thought a wave, each heartbeat just a lie?
Does agony lie deep within your chest,
Where love once bloomed and now has come to rest?
Or in your gut, a fire that will not die,
Where hope burns out, too tired to even try?
Does pain bleed through your eyes, where light has thinned,
And sorrow streaks like rain against the wind?
Each tear a mark of battles fought in vain—
A love still bleeding, anchored in its pain.
And in your hands, each line a story told,
That clenches tight but never can quite hold.
Each fingertip a sliver carved by strain,
Each nail a shard of unrelenting pain.
Is there a space within you still your own—
Untouched by grief, a place to be alone?
Or has each inch been claimed, each part betrayed,
Your body marked by scars that never fade?
Narcissistic Trait Reflection
Somatic Control/Body-based Shame
Definition:
Some narcissists use your body as a battleground — criticising your appearance, dismissing your pain, or controlling how you move, dress, or express yourself. Over time, you may begin to disconnect from your body, storing pain in silence and shame.
Awareness Reminder:
If you’ve been made to feel that your body is wrong, too much, or not yours to claim — pause. This trait often shows up when they mock your weight, ignore your illness, or use affection as a weapon. Reclaiming your body is not vanity — it’s survival. Your skin is not a crime scene. It’s a home.
Poetic Reflection:
They named your softness weakness,
your curves a flaw,
your hunger a threat.
But your body remembers who you were
before they taught you to disappear.
Journal Prompt
Where in your body do you feel your pain most?
Write to that part.
What does it need to hear from you?
*** You may journal in the Comments Section or keep your notes personal, but do take this chance to scribble a tiny bit of your pain away and open a window to healing.
